5 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Donating My Eggs
I made my first egg donation when I was 23 years old. It had been a plan of mine for the past 5 years and I was READY. I’d done my research and talked to friends who had been through the process, but there was still so much that I didn’t know!
I had a lot to learn. And now, 10 donations later, I’ve learned it all. From building relationships with my agencies and clinics, to honing my diet to make for an easy donation and recovery, to personal finance basics and beyond.
Here are the top 5 things I wish I knew before my first egg donation – things that every other list leaves out!:
How to speak up and advocate for myself
Conversations with family could get… weird (and how to handle them)
What to eat to feel good and recover fast
And on that note… post-op constipation is REAL (and painful!)
What to do with the money I earned
HOW TO SPEAK UP AND ADVOCATE FOR MYSELF
This is a big one. I grew up naturally shy and utterly type-A. That combo wasn’t the best when embarking on an in-depth medical process like egg donation. I was inclined to follow all directions so that I would get that proverbial gold star, and I didn’t want to make waves by asking too many questions. Add to that a shy personality and I didn’t speak up to advocate for myself like I would today.
Lucky for me, my agency and clinic were wonderful and I didn’t suffer any negative consequences from my lack of self-advocacy. But it could have gone differently.
Here’s one example: During my sixth donation, I was working with the same agency as before, but a new clinic. The new clinic gave me my medication instructions but failed to include the part where I would stop taking my birth control pills. I knew that was different from my previous donations, so I said something! Turns out, they had made a mistake. If I hadn’t spoken up, the entire donation could have been jeopardized, my time wasted, and my body put through unnecessary stress.
As I became more of an expert in egg donation and as I grew into a more confident version of me, I learned to ask questions, clarify my instructions, repeat back what I heard from my doctors and nurses to verify that I understood it all, and to just get curious overall.
By speaking up and asking more questions, not only are you going to be safer and better equipped during and after your donation, but having the added knowledge about what’s actually happening in your body is pretty dang cool!
HOW TO HANDLE CONVERSATIONS WITH FAMILY WHEN THEY GET ~WEIRD~
If you’re considering donating your eggs, you should know that not everyone is going to be excited about this decision, and that it’s up to you to be as open or as private as you want. Personally, I decided that I was confident in my decision to donate, I was proud of it, and that I could handle it if people disagreed with the choice – even if those people were very close to me.
So I was not shy when it came to sharing what I was going through. I told my parents, who both had reservations that have not gone away, even 10 years later. My mom was initially uneasy about it because it was such a foreign concept to her, and has since come around a bit as she’s gotten more comfortable with the concept of egg donation. To this day, my dad still makes comments about having “grandchildren out there” that he doesn’t know. And in addition to just feeling “weird” about it, both of my parents were concerned about the health risks (fair!).
One thing that helped ease their concerns about the health risks was having my mom tag along with me to a monitoring appointment, where she could see that this wasn’t something happening in a back alley, but rather that it was happening in a posh, state-of-the art medical center with caring staff.
But what about navigating those conversations about the emotions and the principles around egg donation? What about when people “can’t put their finger on it – it’s just kinda weird”?
The number one thing I learned when it comes to these situations is that it’s okay for people to think what I am doing is weird!
The number two thing I learned is that when I can communicate my “why” – my reason for donating, those conversations often shift away from egg donation and more toward my big dreams and plans for my life. And that’s exactly what you should be talking about with your loved ones in your 20s!
And finally, the number three thing I learned is that I don’t have to make excuses for why I’m donating eggs. If money is the driving factor, it’s okay to be honest about that. Often, we feel pressure to minimize the money and say that we’re donating eggs because we want to “give someone this beautiful gift” while glossing over the fact that we’re getting paid thousands of dollars. Instead, I learned to fully own my decision, own my “why” and be confident in my conversations with friends and family!
This can be an especially tricky topic which is why there’s an entire section of my course, The Egg Donor Money Guide, dedicated to it.
WHAT TO EAT TO FEEL GOOD AND RECOVER FAST
Different agencies and clinics told me many different things when it came to what to eat and drink, and what to avoid eating and drinking in order to feel my best before and after my donations. It was confusing!
Properly fueling your body before, during and after your donations can make a world of difference in how bloated you become, and how quickly you recover.
After my own experimentation and trial and error, I’ve discovered what works for me and my body. Of course, all bodies are different, so you may not have the same results that I did, but I can share what worked for me.
I cut out most dairy from my diet about 5 days before my retrieval. The science is out on whether dairy actually increases inflammation, but I didn’t want to risk it. Taking steps to reduce inflammation helped me recover faster.
For about 5 days before and after my retrieval I made a superfood-packed smoothie with pineapple, turmeric and more to further reduce inflammation in my body, and protein to help my tissue recover more quickly.
For about 5 days before my retrieval, I drank about 4 ounces of pineapple juice. It can get pretty sweet, so I usually dilute it with water. If you get a powdered stool softener as part of your protocol, pineapple juice is also a great liquid to mix that in! (more on this below)
Leading up to your donation, drink LOTS of water! A good rule of thumb is to always drink about half your weight in ounces of water each day (if you weigh 130lbs, that’s 65 ounces of water), and that is especially important during your donation! Your body is hard at work to grow the follicles, and it’s using more resources than normal, so you must make sure to give your body the water it needs to do all that work.
After your donation, don’t drink too much water. Drinking too much water can contribute to post-donation bloating, so try to only drink to satiety.
Throughout the whole donation, from first injection to several days post-op, I avoid overly processed foods or foods that are usually hard on my stomach (for me these are things like cruciferous veggies and greasy burgers, but you know your body best). I like to do everything I can to make my body's job as simple and easy as possible without putting any extra dietary strain on it.
POST-OP CONSTIPATION IS REAL(!), BUT THERE ARE WAYS TO MAKE IT BETTER
Eeeek this is a REAL one! Under any other circumstances this might be TMI, but I guess I have been blessed in life with a pretty regular digestive system. Thanks, genetics! I therefore had NO idea how painful bad constipation can feel.
I won’t lie. My second donation, the pain from my constipation was so bad that I thought something had gone wrong during my procedure! But nope, it was just some really stuck poop.
The good thing is, I learned (boy, did I learn!!). Constipation during an egg donation is caused by a couple of factors that all combine to create the perfect storm…
An increase in progesterone causes your muscles, including your colon, to relax, meaning it’s less effective at keeping things movin.’
The anesthesia, plus any pain management drugs you receive during retrieval can cause constipation.
If you become dehydrated, that also can worsen constipation.
And after your retrieval, it can be painful to “push,” meaning your body and mind will resist a bowel movement.
Yikes! But here’s what you can do to prevent yourself from getting too backed up…
Keep hydrated before and after your retrieval.
Proactively take the stool softeners that you are given as part of your medical protocol. Take these before you think you need them. If you haven’t been given any, see above and advocate for yourself! Ask your nurse to send some home with you during your next monitoring appointment.
Watch your diet (see above). If there are foods that you are more sensitive to, try to avoid those during your donation period.
Stay active! You don’t want to do strenuous or high-impact activity during your donation (this can be highly dangerous!), but you should keep your body moving. Taking regular walks will help keep all parts of your body moving.
Don’t overcorrect. If you find yourself feeling some discomfort from constipation, it can be tempting to go out and get a laxative, but that can also cause extreme discomfort. Keep drinking water and keep taking your stool softener (this is gentler than a laxative).
WHAT TO DO WITH THE MONEY FROM MY EGG DONATION FEE
When I was 23 and received my first egg donation check, $6,000 was more money than I knew what to do with. As a broke college student working two jobs (that I hated) I saw this money as a lifeline – something to live on while I was in school.
What I didn’t know at the time was that there was SO much more potential in that money – potential to grow and really transform my future.
Had I known the basics of compound interest, investing, retirement accounts and even the right questions to ask, I would be in a much different financial situation today, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
That’s why I created an online course, to share what I learned, so that you can learn from my mistakes and put your donation fee to work for you, so that you benefit from it for years to come. You can learn more about that course and enroll here.
When I began donating eggs, I did my research and I thought I was ready, but what I’ve shared here was information that my research didn’t even touch on. This is the stuff that was surprising, and that I would have loved to have known much earlier.
Everyone’s experience with egg donation will be unique, so it’s important that you talk to your doctors, follow their instructions and advice and be curious throughout the process. My experience, as shared here, is my own and should not be taken as medical advice – but I do hope it helps make your egg donation easier, and helps you feel confident, empowered and in control.